2012

Neptune I’m sure it will be spectacular. Once again, the CGI destruction of the world, and I understand that the principal character tries to re-connect with his family or some such thing while mayhem ensues. Yes, it’s 2012, but according to the movie, and some others, a Presidential election won’t be the worst thing to happen in that even-numbered-year-divisible-by-four.

Can’t you just hear some “journalist” asking about it during a debate?

“What are you doing to stave off the end of the world as we know it as predicted by the ancient Mayan Calendar?”

Depending on the answer a Republican candidate might give, Wolf Blitzer or Keith Olberman would huff and puff about how they are not doing enough to protect people from the possible end of the world. It might even make the front page of the New York Times.

Fox News, on the other hand, would carefully parse a Democrat’s answer to show how he or she implied that the end of the world was really George Bush’s fault, and all would have Planet X experts on the set to breathlessly confirm or offhandedly dismiss the coming end of days.

All of which might make a pretty funny sketch.

But it’s just as likely that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 because that’s where they ran out of rock.

You can just see the high priest … carving away at the Mayan calendar, getting to the end of the “page” and thinking to himself “2012 … that’s pretty far in the future … and I’m out or wall to write on … let’s just give that a bit of a rest for a while.”

Then their civilization ends, and they never got back to the calendar.

Seriously, isn’t that scenario as plausible as the “Planet X” theory that will tilt the earth off it’s axis, make Africa the south pole or some such thing? If Nibiru were going to do such a thing, in 2012, it would have to already be in the solar system and we’d know about it … and be complaining that President Obama isn’t doing enough to stave off the end of the world.

“Up” makes as much sense … flying a house away tethered to a phalanx of helium balloons. And even though 2010 LOOKS real, it’s just about as substantive as the Pixar animation of “Up”.

But because it’s on a movie that looks realistic, some people, particularly kids, give it some credence. A young person we know asked, in all seriousness, “What it it’s true?” To them I would only say … we all lived through Y2K.

Then again, Al Gore is good at finding ways to make money from hyping up possible global calamities based on questionable science, and he’s been strangely quiet about 2012. So maybe there’s something to it after all. I mean,  if Planet X is really going to tip the earth off it’s axis in three years and cause the magma under the Earth’s crust to boil up in to massive volcanoes, the polar bears don’t have a chance anyway.

And so, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, I doubt I’ll go see 2012. I don’t think there’s enough suspension of disbelief available in my brain to enjoy it.

There’s always “Men Who Stare At Goats,” which might be a bit more believable.

I’ll see you in 2013.

And in case you’re wondering, that’s an image of Neptune taken by Voyager 1 … not Nibiru. But when you google “Planet X”, it’s the one that shows up most often …

Sig

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3 Comments

Filed under 2012, Humor, Movies, Nibiru, Planet X, Thoughts

3 responses to “2012

  1. Beth Talisman

    ran out of rock……lmao, can’t breathe. best.image.ever.

  2. nice article.. its usefull for me.. thanks for share..

  3. tcpatton

    @BGT .. Bows humbly …

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