Hi, my name is Tom … and I prefer mustard on my hamburger.
A quick check of my pantry and fridge yielded no fewer than 4 different mustards … from honey Dijon to spicy brown. I like mustard so well that Andie even bought the container of specialty-labeled “IU Tailgate Mustard” for me as a gift. I couldn’t put my hands on any French’s Classic Yellow mustard because I recently used the last of it, probably in a sauce or marinade or poultice for something. I use powdered mustard in almost every rub and marinade and sauce I make. When I go to a restaurant, and I’m having a burger, I ask for mustard for my FRIES!!
Ketchup? Never touch the stuff. Well, occasionally as an ingredient when I don’t have tomato paste or sauce I can use instead, which is rare. I don’t begrudge the ketchup crowd. My wife likes it and we have it in the house. It’s just not my preference. I rarely use commercial barbecue sauces any more, either. It’s too easy to make your own. And lest you think I’m some Grey Poupon-Swilling, Lear Jet-Flying, Fire-The-Butler-On-A-Whim, pampered rich guy … remember that my wife and I are both unemployed at the moment. Not that I wouldn’t aspire to be that, but not today. Not even this week.
I don’t know where I was when this whole mustard kerfuffle got started … but C’MON MAN!” If this is the best that conservative talkers can come up with, would somebody PLEASE give me a talk show and pay me what Laura Ingram and Sean Hannity are paid. Do they really think that they’re generating outrage about the President asking for mustard for his burger? I know they all (or at least most of them) say “it’s entertainment”, but then get their noses out of joint when they’re not taken seriously, or as in this case the left (rightly) calls them on it. Well, for me, making a condiment mountain out of a mustard molehill doesn’t move you very far down the road to “taken seriously”. Saturday Night Live writers come up with much worse sketch material.
The left has had their moments too, casting President Bush as a chimp and Vice President Chaney as Darth Vader because it was easy. And I seem to remember a lot of sturm und drang over Bush 41’s announcement he didn’t care for broccoli. My point is that there is plenty on which to disagree with this or any President, depending on your point of view, without having to go down the road to the absurd. But it seems like we can’t make our political discussions about cuts in defense spending or soaring deficits or health care or energy policy for very long because they’re hard. They’re nuanced. Many people don’t understand them, and they stop watching because their eyes glaze over, making ratings go down. I guess when that happens, it’s time to make a little noise.
So a word of advice, Mr. President … free advice being worth what you pay for it. Next time you’re in a burger joint, for pity’s sake don’t order an imported beer. And to those who tried to make such a big deal out of the President’s choice of condiments … well the more you do that, don’t you think he’s likely to keep doing it just to tweak you … and see how ridiculous you can make yourselves sound?
I know I would.