Christmas! That right, seekers. just 20 more days until everything goes on sale at after-Christmas prices. Just 20 more days to pick it, order it, buy it, get it, wrap it, ship it, open it, ooh-and-ahh over it … and stuff 99% of it into a closet or drawer.
Well, that may be a little extreme. Maybe 50% goes in the closet or drawer.
Here we are more than a week after Thanksgiving, and we don’t have a tree yet. To Andie, this is heresy. The tree should be bought the day after Thanksgiving to give maximum enjoyment of the drying fire hazard in your home. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the Christmas Tree. I really do, and we have some really cool ornaments and decorations for it, much of it with a beach or ocean theme. There are also some heirloom antiques that have been in my family literally for generations that are now on our tree, and will someday I hope be on Jenni’s. But when Thanksgiving falls around the 23rd of November … I think that’s a little too long to have a drying pine tree in the house, particularly when it stays up until New Year’s Day. But that’s just me.
I know I’ve written this before, but it bears repeating. Maybe it’ll be kind of like my annual Christmas Blog. I have just one or two rules about outside Christmas decorations. They’re simple, straight forward, and easy to understand.
1) Nothing may move. There will be no animatronic deer looking wistfully left and right … or endlessly bobbing their heads as if they’re eating the same patch of grass for a month. I simply won’t have it. I’ve always warned Andie that this would be the result. (H/T Zug.com for the photo)
2) There will be nothing inflatable. I live in Florida. There will maybe be a snowman here once every 100 years or so. I can’t say never, because it has snowed a half inch or so in the past 20 years, and so there MIGHT be enough snow every 100 years or so to make a snowman. But I don’t ever want to see an 8 foot inflatable snowman, or anything else, in my yard.
If there’s good news, only 20 more days to feel guilty about not buying diamonds for my wife, mother, daughter, sisters, or any other woman I might happen to be tangentially acquainted with … while women are encouraged to buy shavers, ties, and drills for the men in their lives. At least Lexus has finally gotten the message and seems to have evened out their commercials to where Dad gets the Lexus occasionally, but mostly it’s DeBeers for women, Norelco for men. And I think there’s fundamental injustice in that.
And it really doesn’t matter how often your spouse, (et al) may say you don’t HAVE to buy them diamonds. You know all the GOOD husbands are doing so, and in the commercials it always makes them VERY happy.
Thank goodness for the DVR.
So, 20 more days of Christmas commercials, which probably started in mid-August. I hope that which ever phone company it is that has the faux news conference with the mom about why another mom “out shopped” her for cell phones manages to produce another spot … because that one has become very tiresome. And please, please, please … Coors … stop with the faux Coaches News Conference spots. They’re awful.
Of course, the beer’s not that great either, IMHO. But I digress
I like Christmas. Really, I do. I like getting together with people and fellowship, food, wine, and an occasional fine cigar (outdoors, of course). I even like giving, and yes receiving, gifts. I like the crispness in the air and a fire in the fire pit outside and gatherings with good friends. So I suppose if you take the good with the bad, the good generally outweighs the bad at the holidays.
But what I really want for Christmas this year, really, is a job to go to in January.